or: why it's not as simple as "taking off the mask"
One of the top 5 reasons clients come to work with me is their desire to show up more authentically in the world -- whether that's in their content, their brands, their work, whatever.
Guiding others through this process is nothing new to me, however, following a couple of years in what's felt like a chrysalis (doing deep inner work as I healed from chronic illness, faced my shadows, disrupted patterns, processed trauma... you know, all that fun stuff!) it became clear to me that it was time to take myself through this process.
And while my recent reemergence and "mask removal" on Substack felt momentous - something that required a ton of work to even be ready for - I was soon reminded that despite it representing a breakthrough, it also signified the beginning of a new adventure.
One that will inevitably bring all sorts of challenges & growth opportunities with it. Especially since this particular channel is dedicated to the subject of identity. Something that brings with it more questions than answers.
The Authenticity Assessment
The question on many of my client’s minds has always been, "How can I be more authentic in my personal brand?"
To which, Coach Kat would respond by asking, "Well, what does authenticity mean to you?"
...And then she'd follow up with a bunch more questions, self-reflection prompts & an Authenticity Audit activity.
But with Coach Kat now in the coachee's (is that a word?) chair, it's not quite as simple as that. Because she of course couldn't help continuing to pull the thread (and apparently speaking in third person, also)...
That pulled thread manifested as questions such as:
"What is the one true face beneath my mask? ...Do I even have just one?"
"Is it about ditching masks altogether or is it about choosing them intentionally?"
"Are we being inauthentic if a mask we wear represents an aspect of us, but not all of us?"
"If my 'personal brand' mask has been serving me well, does it need to go completely?"
Side note -- welcome to my mind. You might want to buckle up your seatbelt 🙃
Now before I carry on, I should be clear that I don't believe the value of questions is to find firm answers.
Nope, I believe they're far more powerful when seen as sign-posts pointing towards places for us to explore, catalysts for intuitive insights (that may seem unrelated, but wouldn't have appeared if it weren't for that question shaking it out of us) and nudges that keep moving us into more growth & expansion.
Especially in the case of questions like these where there are no firm answers because there's no right & wrong. There's only our own truth, inner knowing & discernment.
“At the center of your being
you have the answer;
you know who you are
and you know what you want.”
– LAU TZU
In other words, I hope you'll choose to hold any questions I pose lightly and enjoy playing with them rather than letting them send you down a spiral of over-thinking or attempts to find the RIGHT answer.
...But back to our regularly scheduled programming.
One of the many places this inquiry led me to was thinking about diamonds.
Rare, valuable, beautiful, precious gems.
Between their natural "makeup" and the way they're cut, every diamond is completely unique – literally one-of-a-kind.
Now being one of the hardest substances known to man, a diamond is obviously something unchanging. And YET, depending on the way the light hits it, we see it - experience it - a bit differently every time we look at it. It almost seems to move.
Once the light's involved, the diamond becomes a dynamic force.
The Diamond of the Self
↑ That happens to be the name of Gene Key 8 - one of my all time faves - which has the Shadow of Mediocrity, Gift of Style & Siddhi (highest expression) of Exquisiteness.
Now let's pretend you're a diamond (for realsies — because obvs you’re already one metaphorically!)
The real you - your Self with a capital S - is a constant. It's been with you since birth and no matter how much your personality evolves or your body changes, that essence remains.
But depending on the room you're in, the context you're apart of, the people you're surrounded by etc, the light hits you differently. It needs to!
Because as much as I believe we're all essentially made of light, we live on the material plane where our ability to connect with others is partially about meeting them where they're at and communicating in a way that resonates with them.
In other words, we've been given the ability to "adjust" the way we reflect the light in order to help us fulfil our mission on this planet.
...Which brings us back to masks.
While it's easy to write masks off as things that keep us from being authentic or allow us to hide our "true" selves, it's a bit more nuanced than that.
Absolutely, in their shadow form, masks can be used to protect us, to avoid vulnerability, to flat out pretend or mislead.
AND - when they represent parts of ourselves that have been accepted and integrated into our beings - masks can be a gift that encourage connection, empower expression and amplify our message in an authentic way.
The gift of the masks we develop
In my quest to "remove the mask" to reveal the "real" me, I initially saw my public persona as something inauthentic, constrictive, untrue. As a result, there was judgement and shame attached to it, which naturally meant I was in a hurry to put it behind me.
However, in the process of taking it off and beginning this inquiry, I was able to see the mask for what it truly was. Something that...
...had allowed me to show up and be seen safely
...represented certain aspects of my real personality
...helped attract all sorts of incredible people into my vortex, many of whom became clients and/or close friends
And most importantly, was authentic when I created it.
In other words, that mask was a gift.
And/also (because things are rarely this OR that)
I could see where the mask had become a burden – where any mask could become a burden.
→ In losing the ability to know where it ended & I (Self, uppercase S) began
→ The growing fear that if I were to take it off, people may not like what they see
→ Worrying the mask (the persona it represented) was what held value, not "me"
And this stuff is one of the reasons I've always resisted calling myself a personal branding consultant or strategist. Why I've turned down (and/or repelled) countless clients who wanted me to help them create a personal brand mask, without doing the work on the person behind it... to approach things outside-in rather than inside-out.
The formula for using masks for your highest good
Becoming someone who can use masks (or any sort of branding) as a tool to amplify their light & authentically communicate their message takes work.
More work and harder work than simply creating a shell to hide behind.
Because it requires working first on you you're being, then making sure that what you're building allows you to continue being the real you, and finally creating branding that's the natural extension of both.
Yet for me, it's the only way.
Because I'm not someone who can separate who I am from what I do. I desire a life where my work and everything I do is an expression of my Self.
What about you?
(And what’s your relationship to your many masks right now? Are you aware of all the ones you wear? How well do they fit? Are they helping or harming your cause?